memory in transition

sun crators in the canyon
saw those bodies
running in the glade
sunning in the shade

everybody's got a story
heard yours in a tunnel
echoing around my head
toward the light we left behind

I've determined memory
most important facility
deserves more than a grave
in someone else's chest

so sign to me those songs
and when you're singing
in tiny deliberate gestures
I'll begin to hum along

indefinite as I am
I feel my skin expanding
exposing tiny folicles
quivering and exposed

my new goosebumps
riding waves in canyons
my molding memories
echoing on solid walls

I've dreamt in many hues
but I always awaken the same
just as memories last so long
I age in new colors

meaning invented in crossroads
spaces between now and memory
elasticity of time and motion
this illusion of living

so long, these moments
the crests of waves
rising above my head
in suspended grandeur

I refuse to forget
stubborn flashes last
as the landscape changes
so long, so long

the crashes feel the same
against my exposed nerves

and when you make new music
I hear the same old songs

only

I killed my little brother
that's what being an "only child" means

we used to go to the park
and kick the ball around

I could always kick harder
don't really remember how he kicked

don't matter

little brother
wake up and run with me

I got some new shoes today
momma found 'em for cheap

fit real good here
don't they look nice?

why aren't you keeping up?
we gotta go far into those woods

those branches hang low
look out, ya hear

and the deeper, deeper we go
the more the wind sounds angry

like a tea kettle set ablaze
splashing boiling water in the kitchen

the wind liable to knock you down
little brother, walk faster

the sun don't feel hot here
trees keep the light off

that breeze blows everything away

I've heard train whistles before
up close and loud like from a stadium speaker

it makes you jump a little
and want to cover your ears

but really it just scatters your heart
makes your skin wriggle

the power plant up river is so ugly
with those big black plumes

so we don't go there anymore
little brother and me

I found him another trail
on the other side the river

we walk on both sides
skipping rocks back and forth

listening to the wind
blowing that black smoke around

and sometimes
it would seem like we'd been walking forever

but then I'd turn around and get home
and the air would clear

the breeze would die down
like a gentle ripple in a pond

momma would open the door for me
and I'd swear little brother was just behind

so I wouldn't even look
as the door shut behind me

that's what I mean
being an only child

little brother is around somewhere
I just killed him some place

he'll be around later
if he can get the door open

but I ain't opening it for him

the one before

lips smell like stained glass
emblazened archangels wielding fire

skin dances you know
when not looking to strike
down from the heavens

and dreams are like that
I'm not sure why

vivid details of craft
composition and form
delicate fingers in cold gloves

I don't waste time searching
perfection is self-contained

one thing always confused me though
I can never tell when
angels are dancing or fighting

those bells ringing in my ears
clamoring ancient hymns

and love is like that
a timeless ritual banging away
oblivious and exhilerating

familiar and aching
older than the willow tree's skeleton

yet I hate how I feel so distant
like a star not yet formed
glimmering on the edge of existence

that sick sensation in my belly
release me or consume me

I want more than I want for