The Search for Health in Decadence: September 2007

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dinner alone

sitting alone in a restaurant
I see people everywhere
as I stare out the window
at a nondescript building

a woman walks by on her cell phone
and I think, "we couldn't
be farther away from each other."

I see the address on the building:
fourteen-hundred ninty-one

the year before it started

I am somehow certain
the illusion of God
meant more back then
as a necessity

how else do you explain slavery?

and so I see you walking
chattering away unaware
dark hair and golden skin
tight jeans and long strides
hurdling forward toward
tomorrow and oblivion

and I am absolutely certain
by the firmness of your steps
it means something to you

we are oceans apart
Africa to North America
drifting ghost ships
lost in raging storms

you leave my sight quickly
I watch the spindly trees
twisting in the wind
as if they have swayed forever

swaying and drifting
I feel alone and sad
looking for land
to anchor myself upon

instead I cast away
joining the streets
as a vessel seeking home
in two-thousand and seven

another nondescript house
somewhere up the street
if I were to walk that way

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Night Falls

I watch sunsets behind
cracked glass. Beams

reflect
my way

and it feels so good
basking the glow
of a broken evening.

I love the feeling
post-Apocalyptic nihilism
reeling in suicidal
cadences of heartbeats
arhthymic jolts fading
with time.

I live in shadows
and somewhere between I
dance. Watching time
pass I fade between infinity
and nothing. Suddenly

the emptiness fills me
and the fullness
destroys me. The sun
crests against old
mountains. Night

falls.