ode to attachment Parts I and II

I. Some Sort of Recognition

I've rarely watered eyes with simple words
my throat usually catches them inside

somewhere stifled in my body are words
by the thousands locked in transit

and yet once in a while
despite my whole body
a few important syllables escape
and my body can relax

but tonight
words are spinning everywhere
in all of the caverns
like primordial bats on Mars
flapping enormous wings
in an unstable atmosphere

I've heard that in a completely still world
a butterfly's wings can start in motion
catastrophic chain of events --
certainly primordial Martian bats could too

I just wish
all of these words flapping in my stomach
could give me something to hold onto
if just for a few more moments
instead of a string of awkward words
written late at night in a dark room
on a worn out laptop


II. A Toast

to everything I've loved
have loved
will loved
and love now

I hope I've shown you what you mean to me
and, if not, that I may forgive myself somehow

but most of all
to those who know
its all true
- all of it -
and a thousand times more than you know

to you all
- particularly you -

I love you
and it is everything

I hope you feel the same