What kind of liar am I?

Whilst I think it is absurd to share publicly any thoughts I have about what kind of liar I am, due to the nature of the question, I will attempt to make an indulgence.

Firstly, I think it ought to be known that I have become a brutally blunt person. I have not always been this way, but over time I have leaned further and further in this direction. This started first with an intense period of time of self-examination during college in which I painstakingly challenged myself to engage the darkest aspects of my personality. I realized several key things about myself, which, in turn, explain how I may lie or mislead myself or others.

1) I am a very sensitive person. I have desires toward wanting most people that I meet to either like me, or be indifferent to me - but I generally don't want to be disliked. When I find a connection with another person, this desire is magnified greatly.

In dealing with this desire, I would primarily call myself a "liar-by-omission". Toward others, I will often hold back the harshest criticism I have for them. I will often hold back information about myself that I think may lead them toward liking me less. But strikingly, I am prone to being a liar-by-omission toward myself as well. When the facts of a situation don't match what I wish them to be, I have attempted to ignore those truths that I wish weren't true. And when I cannot ignore those truths anymore, I lie to myself about how I think that I can change them.

2) I often view the world from a much more nuanced and complicated perspective than most people. This can make it hard to relate to others with.

In dealing with the gravity of these thoughts, when asked to explain myself or when asked simple questions that have very complicated answers, I will often provide answers that I think will move the conversation along past these areas of confusion. I would consider this a form of lying, particularly when given "yes/no" type questions that cannot be answered truthfully yes or no. I will attempt to answer the question given the character of my thoughts, but at times I find it too exhausting and completely give up on even trying.


Maintaining a consistent philosophical approach to my life to live in "good faith" is a serious endeavor for me that I began at a young age. For instance, I decided with a sense of purpose that I did not wish to use chemical substances to alter my state of consciousness because I thought that was "bad faith". If there was any chance I'd make a different decision due to having a substance in my body, than if I were completely sober, I was against using that substance on principle. To this day, I have never even taken a sip of an alcoholic beverage.

I believe in self-discipline very strongly. This does not mean that I am puritanical, as I am not. Self-discipline starts with a process of generating a system of values, as any system of value that is not self-created (that is, at least, self-analyzed and constructed based on active decision-making) is a prison for the weak-minded.

From creating a strong sense of personal values, one then has the tools to make a life for one's self instead of having one's life play itself out.

I think this process I have engaged myself upon has helped me live a much more honest internal dialog, though self-deception is always an on-going concern. Self-deception does not necessarily mean that I am actually lying to myself, as self-deception can also come from making incorrect inferences or having flaws in rational logic.


What kind of liar am I?

A methodological, pragmatic one. One that understands the difficulties of fitting into society, yet also one which refuses to be unethical.

I am also a patient one. I will choose to slowly let the truth unfurl from my grasp instead of forcing it out quickly, or masking it in a melange of convenient lies. My lies are inconvenient, and I detest when I am put into a situation that asks for lies. For the sake of consistency, this makes me a "liar-by-omission" at times. But even so, in many of these situations, I will refuse to lie and instead cryptically opt out (alerting others to the expectation that the truth is not hidden, but will take more effort to obtain) or in times of intense irritation, simply take the socially unacceptable route and speak my mind fully.

I am also a brave and forgiving one. When I realize that I have lied in some way, I am not afraid to face what I have done to learn from it to try to prevent this from happening again. I embrace the pain this causes me, even though it can create a significant isolating depression at times.

The long road toward self-awareness and self-understanding extends forever. Mistaking a lack of self-awareness with lies is always a danger. In these times, the deciding factor almost always comes down to another question, "Ought I reasonably have known this about myself?" In the times in which this is answered with even a weak yes, I will state unequivocally that I most certainly have lied and my next task is to make sure not to experience that discrepancy again.