Long week

It is good to get out of your comfort zone and do things that you aren't used to doing. And there are times when I feel that I'm better at observing human behavior than participating in it. Navigating these landscapes wears on me, but this struggle helps me feel alive and human. I see how people falter and how they succeed and their struggles are all beautiful in their own way, regardless of whether they succeed or fail.

As for me - I am alienated. I struggle with connection. I don't even suspect that I'm particularly eager for anyone to fall in love with me. I think that love should be earned, and I think it will take a truly alienated person to make that connection with me. Not depressed, not an alcoholic, not disengaged... but alienated and observant. Engaged and intelligent. Creative and independent. Justifiably alienated...substantively.

There is a great, great void that cannot be filled. Do not try to fill the void. Live in the wake of this void. The wind swirling from it is electric. There is more than enough energy in this storm for a lifetime.