she, simulacra (patterns revisted)

she, baring

long dark hair
torches wrapped in blood

remember that fires burn
red, daring

pelvic dancers
elucidating the night

memory constellations
flicker in the haze
casting paraxical holograms
phasing starlit sprinkles

shining long hair
blanketing the body
redeems itself in each iteration

I met you as a child

but couldn't let go

twisting dancers
the same moves

as I aged you changed

replicating stars
destroyed themselves

each time you became more distant
the dance a little stranger

the exoticism of difference
intoxicatingly subliminal

waking up is dreaming
and as you keep dancing
while we fuck stars shudder

the synthetic itch
filtered through fingertips
traced across mirrored inroads

each permutation more peculiar
until sex is no more novel
than baking and laundry

celestial polymers
stretching across eyes
like 3D glasses

when I definitively see you
is a trick question
from a movie trailer

so I try to close my eyes
and feel the dance
climbing up my thigh

until there is no more
she, baring

dark long hair
twisting in starlight

she, disappearing

sliding away
muted mutable mortality

spun away on metric dance floors
driving beats like bodies
into endless nights

B.F.F.

1.

by fourth grade I knew the game
like a game of tag on recess
women have something to grasp

none of it made any sense
but it was really important

I had a best friend
who was taller than me

he also had a better jump shot
it made sense that I followed him

we plotted how to get together
with the new girl

somehow it ended up
I agreed we'd take turns
and he went first

a few weeks later
they were together
and I was his "bodyguard"

when I look back now
I understand my job
was to deflect responsibility

2.

he used to spend the night a lot
and we'd play video games

we'd roll out the hide-a-bed
and stay up really late

an uncomfortable competition
brewed under the surface

when no-one was around
we'd test our limits

and I'd learn that
male intimacy has a price

3.

erections are fascinating

I remember my first one
hit me by surprise
watching a movie
with my parents

I ran into the bathroom
and indignantly claimed
that the movie was stupid

weeks later my best friend
told me about his

curiosity drove us
and we found ourselves alone
creating contests

my erections lasted the longest
but he could usually get his first

one day we found his parents porn
and we watched it together

the woman's voice gave me goosebumps
and I was mesmerized by her breasts

we knew that we weren't supposed to watch
so there was something wrong with it all

I'll never forget when he said,
"I feel kinda sorry for her"
as he turned it off

he was right
but for the wrong reasons

4.

in fifth grade it all changed
during his last sleepover
he taught me how to masturbate

like awkward hairless aliens
we laid naked on the hide-a-bed
stroking ourselves

he said,
"if you keep rubbing it fast
stuff will come out"

when I finally came
I was shocked

I cleaned up in the bathroom
and forgot about my naked friend

he no longer mattered

soon enough he came
and cleaned up

we got dressed again
and ended such foolish games

I let him have her
without a fight

after school we played basketball
like we always did

we never spoke about sex again
summer came quickly
and the next year we made new friends

5.

I remember he said once
that my penis always "went too far"
and tried to convince me
that his was better
because it was curved right

I don't think he believed himself
but it didn't matter

we had gone too far
into that gaping abyss

familiar ground

1. that territory

women mark the territory
weather balloons bobbing
on the horizon's edge

the shackling smells
eye shadow reflections
and lost fathers

2. 1990

I remember fourth grade breasts
and that first spray
on my bare stomach

boys do things like that
to make it easier

time flies fast that way

we probably could have played
Nintendo together after school
and listened to MC Hammer

we could have watched the Simpsons
played silly card games
and catch lizards and frogs

I just remember wet dreams
learning the name for masturbation
distant smiles in the sun on recess
and a high

musical voice

adolescence is strange that way
getting accustomed to your cock
getting hard in your hand

somehow its always best
to have the biggest penis
after gym class in the locker room

I often sat in silence
listening to jokes
about fat and ugly girls

no one asked me
and I didn't think about it

3. repose

you can find love
but what is it?

territories are lost
in the mind

terrorists create
false roadmaps

you lose everything during adolescence

it cannot be found
only reconstructed

the distinction is everything

River Snakes

the river snakes
ramblers and gamblers
watch water tides lowride
delve deeper dark lagoons

I ate melons
fresh from the tree
and felt alive again

listening to monkeys
fuck in the trees
over heavy canopies

I thought of crowded cities

exotic shapes of buildings
abstractly tall and heavy
pushing people around

the sound exhilirating
ears undone

clothes
river merchant sweat

falling in love with sensations
more than aesthetics

I create

remember those impressions
but also the smells
sticking to skin

remember my maw
puslating rivulets
fine muscle fiber twitches

trusted machinery

man is water

remember I

drink deep
with abandon

water lubricates

and I slide

river snakes with me

I am

empty morning figure

pardon me if I say so
but the morning lights go
trickling up your face
while you're sleeping

and to me it seems to
bend colors imbue
everything dancing a-
wake and distant

benediction: my morning blues
dereliction: my empty hues
vacant windows spell relief
from proximity too deep

incantation: invoke your name
relocation: you slip away
sacred memories recant
serpentine desires unmet

how can you sleep so quietly
when the colors tranfix your face
angel angelina the angles unfold
so softly?

I believe everything you say
just to feel holy

just to quiet my jilted nerves

excuse me I must say so
don't float along too low
motioning fingers trace
grave elegies

and to you it seems to
defer dreams overdue
trembling thoughts replace
sublimity

I believed everything you said
just to feel holy

just to quiet my fitful nerves

internal estuaries

drunk on sunscreen fumes
the ashen water feels heavy

vacations are strange that way
when love swirled in brine
escapes mostly untouched

dreams scaffolded

the heights furrowed
tranfixed illustrations

chalk outlines in sand
wash away

distance is the great equalizer:

I feel you

the sun setting

miles from now

I've lost nothing
because images live
like eyes flitting
and chests lifting

creation lies
in a place beyond desire
sacred but not austere

these oceans filled brackish
swelter with scents sexual
redouble sensual elemental
extra-dimensional level

the grit of the sand
sticks embedded in my feet
and I can drink forever
because I have no limits
on this beach of mine

and the more it aches
the more these warm waves
crash into my exposed skin

naked here
invigorated with power

it flows through me
with each rippling thought
as the thick milky water
coats me in an amber-like molasses

the warm fluid is familiar
Baptismal embryonic fluid
spinning away from my semen

creation is gross and dirty
but lovely and miraculous

these thoughts radiate

exploded spindrifts

and my open eyes
unflinching
say everything

awake, to-night

exhilerating shortness of breath
I feel a new sense of insecurity
between by old teeth

welcomed with open paws
the rivers overflow their banks
flooded childhood rhymes

Mary and Jill fell in love
while Jack and Peter withdrew
into solitude

it can make you age

you know

we are mostly
water. drinking time

like wine

until night grows
quiet

like a hushed

gasp.

"awake" she said
and my hands felt weak
so I stopped thinking

her frown was almost right
as she walked away

I think now she may be carrying
my oldness in her pouch

for me

this river collapses

and I need to age

to feel alive

to-
night

Ieneke van Houten revives my lost interest in blue-green algae, Cell-Tech, and scam artists

Hello, readers. Meet Ieneke van Houten:



Ieneke just responded to my blog from May 23rd, 2006 about Cell Tech

Feel free to read through the entire exciting saga of how I disarmed Dr. Taylor in front of a large audience of potential customers. Feel free to read Ieneke van Houten's response to my post, and my response to hers.

There are just a few things that I want to highlight in a new post about all of this. The value of research is so very important. In about 20 minutes I learned Ieneke van Houten's real name, found her websites, found her e-commerce sites, found the connection between Simplexity Health and Cell Tech, and a variety of other things. Be skeptical of everything, particularly that which sounds the most beneficial, and particularly if it has nearly magical healing powers. In the case of both Cell Tech and its new iteration Simplexity Health, the products are not approved by the FDA. Additionally, no one to this day has been able to explain away the lawsuits against Cell Tech and the ban of its products nor the death of a child that used the product to me.

Nearly two years later this falls back in my lap, which I find interesting. I wonder, "who is Ieneke? and why would she comment on my blog with a link to her site?" - http://wildwholefoods.net/

I can only gather that one of the following is true: A) she was threatened by the idea that her belief in the product that she claims to use and distribute is based on lies and is possibly dangerous, or B) she knows full well that the product isn't all that it is advertised to be an is only interested in making money off of it and creating doubt to viewers that come to my blog when googling "blue-green algae" or "Cell Tech".

Either way, there is an unethical connection on her personal website endorsing a product that she says "saved her life" which is followed by a link to her own e-commerce site. In the interest of disclosure, she ought to have shared the conflict of interest between her claim of being saved by the product and being a distributor of the product.

Well, reader, I have a suggestion for you. Be skeptical, and don't buy any of that crap.