Something new

"I'm not politically apathetic! My lack of interest, participation, and education is a form of political activism."

Justin growled and punched John in the shoulder - hard. He stared at John.

"Well I buy things, that counts, right?"

Justin drove his car off a cliff and his last words were "Fuck you, motherfucker!"

"No, that doesn't count."

As they pulled up to the house John started singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in falsetto. Justin frowned and danced along, kicking the bushes with his boots on the way to the door.

"Mom!" John's voice cracked, "Let us in!"

The door opened slowly. Judy laughed sarcastically. "You guys are too old to get away with that."

John turned and stared at Justin. With eyes locked they both started singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and started dancing. Judy closed the door. Justin shrugged. They ran around to the back door and walked in.

Justin went in first. "Hey, have you noticed that like every movie and TV show has time travel in it? What's up with that?"

Judy yelled from the living room. “Mom called. She changed her mind about the whole birth thing. I guess you’re aborted.”

“That sucks, I was going to make spaghetti.”

Justin disappeared and John was left standing alone in the kitchen with a grocery bag filled with noodles, tomato sauce, ground beef, garlic, and Twizzlers.

“Hey Judy, who all is supposed to be here tonight? I’m going to start making the spaghetti.”

“Just me and you. I guess Mary and her boyfriend went to a concert up in Seattle.”

John made the spaghetti with a zen-like focus while repeating the chorus to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” over and over in his head. He allowed the song to repeat without judgment despite never really liking the song. It was natural, like breathing.

“Smells good” Judy yelled at some point.

“That’s what she said.” John yelled back without thinking. Then he thought about it. It didn’t quite work, but it was close enough. Maybe it was funnier that way.

Earlier in the day, John had been sitting in a call center telling cell phone customers why their bills were so high. His job was to get yelled at indiscriminately. At first, it bothered him, but now he does it without issue. He imagines each person as a disembodied head rolling down a steep hill after getting struck by the guillotine. They are able to talk to him via Bluetooth.

John and Judy ate in separate rooms. Judy ate in the living room and continued to watch something on TV. John went upstairs to his bedroom. He has lived there for three years. He placed his food on the bed and turned on his computer. He spent the rest of the evening on his computer and ate only half his dinner because he was too busy instant messaging people he didn’t really know and reading message boards.

He thought about putting his plate on the floor instead of bringing it downstairs, but the smell was just too much. Judy was still on the couch and she was texting someone on her phone.

“Hey, John, how tall are you?”

John automatically replied “Six-foot-eight.”

“No, I mean really, not in alternate universe basketball land.” She continued typing into her phone without ever making eye contact.

“Oh. I’m five-ten.” John walked into the kitchen and dropped his plate into the sink. He turned the water on for a second and pretended to clean it.

Judy didn’t say anything when John went back upstairs.

John put his head against his pillow and stared at his monitor’s swirling psychedelic colors from Windows Media Player. The music was from an internet radio website that he picked randomly. John thought about grade school for no reason and couldn’t sleep. Eventually an image of the Pope flashed in his head and he laughed.